Kiss and make up

Saturday is "kiss and make up day"...
(who makes these up?)

So lets all do just that. Put all the arguments and troubles aside, and be friends again.


I came across some kissing facts for you all...

• Did you know that he scientific name for kissing is osculation? Doesn't sound so nice does it?

• The longest recorded kiss took place in New York City on December 5th 2001 between Louisa Almedovar and Rich Langley. It lasted 30 hours, 59 minutes and 27 seconds. Oooh, I bet they had sore lips...

you need some lip balm there, mate.

• Kissing is good for you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.

• The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.

And finally, a short story...

Kiss on a Train

There is a handsome young man, a beautiful young girl, the young girl's mother, an army general and a lowly private on board a train. The ride has been going on for about half an hour, and they've all politely been glancing about at each other.

The train then went into a tunnel, a kissing sound was heard, and there was a slap. During this, the mother was thinking: "That boy has been eyeing my daughter, and now he kissed her, and my daughter slapped him. Good for her!"

The daughter was thinking: "That handsome boy meant to kiss me, but kissed my mother instead, and she slapped him!"

The handsome guy was thinking: "That general kissed that girl's mother, and she slapped him. I would've too, he's pretty ugly!"

The General was thinking: "That handsome boy kissed that beautiful girl, and I was accidentally slapped by the beautiful girl. Ouch, that's going to leave a mark."

And the lowly private thought: "Whoah, I kiss the back of my hand and get to hit the boss. I love trains."

On that note, i send you all a big kiss ...until next time...

Do You Know What Formicophilia Is?

Well, sorry it's been so long since I posted. Time for a bit of light entertainment. I recently came across these funny 'facts', though I certainly cannot guarantee how true they are. Hopefully though, you should enjoy them...

Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day.

Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.

"Formicophilia" is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals. Gross!!

The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means "to exercise naked."

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.

In india it is cheaper to have sex with a prostitute than buy a condom!

Sex burns 360 calories per hour

The greatest recorded number of children one mother had was 69 children. Do the math!

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were: Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Humans, bonobo monkeys, and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

Turkeys can reproduce without having sex. It's called parthenogenesis.

Donald Duck comics were once banned from Finland because Donald doesn't wear pants.

85% of men who die of heart attacks during intercourse, are found to have been cheating on their wives.

A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.

What was he thinking ???

Well, I must dash. I need to burn off about 360 calories...

Fat or Cuddly?

Watch out if you have a fat pet… There's a new act in the UK now that creates a new offence of failing in the duty of care towards a captive animal. Sounds good. But keep reading…

Pet owners can for the first time be guilty of an offence before an act of cruelty has been committed, for example by overfeeding their pet. The Act says a person responsible for an animal must provide it with a suitable diet, intake of water, environment and housing and ensure it can behave normally and is without pain or disease… Maximum penalties for breach of the new rules include a ban on owning animals, fines of up to £20,000 or up to 51 weeks in prison.


This means that a pet owner could face a prison sentence of practically a year for overfeeding their pet! Seems complete MADness if you ask me. Especially when you consider situations such as this one in America…

(Illinois) The police reported that 29-year-old Andres Marcelo held down and forced a 15-year-old girl to have sexual intercourse. As a result, Marcelo was found guilty of attempted aggravated criminal sexual abuse and sentenced to 60 days in jail and 24 months probation. He was also ordered to pay a sex offender evaluation fee and court costs.

60 days for raping a 15 year old…
357 days for having a fat cat…

I really don’t have words for this.
Oh, I've gotta go – my caterobics dvd has just arrived. And where is that lazy cat hiding?

Show me Your Wild Side!

Sorry I’ve not written for a while – I’ve been too busy as a human to have time for this cyber stuff.

Are you aware that Thursday is “National Walk on Your Wild Side Day”? Where do they come up with these? And who is ‘they’? There’s a ‘special’ day for every day of the year. So what will I do on this glorious bizarrely named day? Something wild…hmm…

I could:

Jump out of an aeroplane (not a suicide mission - with a parachute)

Go out in my pyjamas without brushing my hair (well, I would look wild!)

Do some mud wrestling (need another mad lass for this)

Streak naked through my town (or have I already done this?)

But these are all too ordinary wild things to do. Perhaps you have a suggestion? What wild thing will you get up to? Have fun!

Attractive?

Well, I was just wondering the other day what silly thing I could do, just for a laugh, and I decided to look on the Guinness world records site for a giggle and some inspiration. Wow! I was not let down. There are some weird and wonderful things there to see, but this one just stuck out, so I thought I would share it with you…

Radhakant Bajpai of Naya Ganj, Uttar Pradesh, India, has hair sprouting from the centre of his outer ears (middle of the pinna) that measures an incredible 13.2 cm (5.19 in) at its longest point. The length of the 50-year-old's pinna pelt was confirmed by medical examiner Dr. R P Gupta.

"Making it to Guinness World Records is indeed a special occasion for me and my family," said Radhakant. "God has been very kind to me."

Well, Radhakant, I would like to send you a gift…


How disgusting is that? At first glance it just looks like he's having a bad hair day! But, oh no. The lovely man seems so proud and serious of his 'pinna pelt'! What was he thinking? Well, if I knew where he lived, I’d certainly pop round with a pair of scissors while he’s sleeping. Yuk! It makes me squirm just thinking about it.

As for the silly thing to do, I forgot all about it in the excitement of the hairy ears. Perhaps I could find a world record of my own. Any ideas?

A Sticky Situation

Check this out... and they call me mad! I promise it was nothing to do with me...


Man superglues condom to penis to save on safe sex!

A Romanian man needed some help after his 'great idea' started to feel not so great. He had superglued his condom to his penis. The 43-year-old father-of-five told doctors he and his wife didn't want any more children.

Their obvious solution was to start using condoms, but the condoms Nicolae Popovici's wife bought were a bit 'roomy'. The couples solution for this small problem was not to buy new condoms that did fit, but to make the big ones fit. One way or another. They used superglue to glue the condom to the man's penis. This did not only solve the size-issue, but they could also re-use the condoms, so they thought.

After sex, the couple realised the condom was stuck and wouldn't come off. After trying everything they could think off (and these people are resourceful as you may have noticed) Nicolae went to the local medical clinic for help. One of the nurses said: "He even said that he thought the condom could be used several times and that he wanted it stuck on his penis so he could use it again later. We barely managed to remove it in the end."


Ouch! Were they mad? Were they Stupid? Were they genious? Perhaps this will spark off a craze for recycled condoms? I can pull a couple out the bin if anyone wants to buy a second hand one...

Gotta split - I have some condoms to wash!

My First Blog Ever...

Hello and welcome.

As you can see, this is my first blog ever, and I don't have a clue what I'm doing! To be honest, I'm not really sure what a blog is for, but there you go. That should just make it all the more fun.
I have a LOT to learn, and hopefully as my site grows, you will come to know and love me.

Well, I must dash - I smell marmite on toast...mmm